Homeless:

So I have an identity issue I could use some help with. (Okay, I have more than one, but let's save those for another day, shall we?)

I don't exactly know where to call "home". I always get flustered and start stuttering and/or rambling when someone asks the seemingly simple question of "Where are you from?". Let me give you the run down of the towns that go through my mind and all try to spill out at the same time:

First up, Haverhill, Massachusetts. This is where I was born, but I only spent a total of two years living here, both of which I don't remember since I was, ya know, a baby.


Second, Derry, New Hampshire. Eight years here makes me feel that this might be a logical answer to my question... but I haven't been here since we moved away almost 13 years ago, so it's a far cry from feeling familiar.


Next up, Woodstock, Georgia. This was home from ages 12 to 18. Less time than I spent in Derry, but it was definitely some pivotal years... middle school, high school, learning to drive, sneaking out of the house, my first few boyfriends, yada yada yada. Unfortunately, there are also a lot of bad memories and I associate Woodstock with being where my parents live... which couldn't be further from feeling welcoming.


Then there is good old Athens, Georgia, my current town. I'm registered to vote here, I pay taxes here, and I have spent my entire adult life thus far in this town. But there is little emotional attachment to this place... and I've spent a lot of that time wishing I were somewhere else.


And my last consideration, Sandown, New Hampshire. This is the place where the only people that I consider to be family (save my sisters and Auntie Sue) live. It hasn't been until recent years that I have been able to be a part of this family again, but they have welcomed me with open arms and I even now share their name. "Home" should be where your family is, but I don't have any true memories of this place other than recent ones.


Yeah, it's kind of sticky and complicated territory. Not to mention that I some times generalize and say Boston or Atlanta is my "home". I am very curious, if you have moved around a lot too, where do you call "home"?

What I'm Trying To Forget:

There are a few things to note before I can move on to all of the great things that are happening in my life and around the country right now...

One. The North Face jacket I just talked about... it was stolen right out of my office over the weekend. Someone with a key came in and just thought it'd be okay to take it for themselves. It really requires a low-life to do something like that...

I was extremely angry at first and was ready to give a severe tongue-lashing to the person I believe was the perpetrator, but now I am just disappointed in people. What a sucky thing to do to someone, really.

Two. My childhood dog had to be put to sleep over the weekend.

I've mentioned how my sister, Amanda, and I were complete animal freaks growing up... well we had cried ourselves to sleep many a night begging our parents for a pet (a real pet, not like the hamsters and fish that always served to shortly placate us). One afternoon, we climbed into the car after an ice skating lesson (yes, I'm pretty good at ice skating... no, I can't do any jumps) to find a dog in the backseat. Our mother was full of practical jokes and scare tactics so we were sure that this was another one of her cruel pranks. It wasn't. I was 11, Amanda was 12, and we got our first dog... our very own dog.

My dad was none too pleased with the surprise addition to the family, but he warmed up quickly and fell in love with the fur-ball... so a fence was built and Rusty stayed.

I hadn't seen Rusty in over a year given the state of my relationship with my parents, so I definitely feel very disconnected from the situation... but it brings a tear to my eye thinking about the pure and utter joy we felt on that day, and now he is gone.

Dogs really are the most wonderful thing in the world... a forever companion through thick and thin.

Hope:

Let's kick off my return to blogging by quickly saying a little something about the historical events of last night, shall we?

In a matter of one night, my faith in this nation has been restored. A wonderful co-worker and friend of mine said it best, "I feel like I can have kids now!" It brings tears to my eyes because that statement embodies the fears that many of us have had for so long, and the hope that we now feel.

I cannot express how happy I am for the black community... this is huge. There are still people alive today who experienced the injustice of Jim Crow Laws here in the South, and in their lifetime they were able to see a man of their same race come into the most powerful position in the free world. If that doesn't personify "inspirational", I don't know what would.

And I could not be more excited to see what kind of puppy Malia and Sasha get! Every president has brought a dog to the White House, which is by far the coolest tradition of the presidency as far as I'm concerned.


(I wish I could have been in Chicago last night. Wow.)

Thank you Barack Obama, for making me proud to be an American once again.

Will You Take a Rain Check?:

So after a mysterious ailment that left me feeling closer to death than I'd ever care to feel again for two solid days, I'm still scrambling to get my life back in order. I have a French midterm tomorrow morning, a lot to catch up on at work after being out for two days due to the aforementioned sickness, and my final draft for my senior thesis is quickly creeping up (along with all of the other day to day things that need not be mentioned).

Basically I'm asking for a couple of days to catch up on life before I pick back up on blogging... In return, I have some awesome things lined up, including some awesome pictures of some new Gocco projects I've finished and that wonderful card catalog (which is now safely in my possession! Woot!).

So bear with me while I regain control... I'll be back soon! (Maybe even by the middle of the week.)

(Photo from here.)

An Expanation May Be Necessary:

So there is a reason why I have this obsession with peacocks... I can explain, I promise!

There is a glorious place in Salem, New Hampshire called Canobie Lake Park. I remember my father letting it slide when I cursed during my first real roller coaster ride... but what I remember most are the peacocks.


These beautiful birds were free to roam around the park as they pleased, much to my enjoyment as a little girl. I was mesmerized by their elegance and waited with bated breath for them to spread those amazing tail feathers.

I haven't been to the park in at least 8 years, since I always visit New Hampshire in the late fall months and the park is always closed by then. So sad. :(

This Says It All:

Equine Love:

Okay, seriously... I want one of these:

From here.

I used to ride all of the time growing up and I miss it so. :(

A Little Relief:

This is making me slightly more optimistic about the economy and my fast-approaching job hunt...

This Journey is Coming to a Close:

From here.

I'm thoroughly convinced that everyone has a sob story to tell about how difficult their life has been... and mine would most definitely fall flat in comparison to many who have faced much greater odds and much more adversity, only to accomplish much more than I have thus far in my life. Because of this, I am not going to recount the sordid tale of my past in an attempt to persuade you to participate in any sort of pity party on my behalf... but I will say that these past four years have been very difficult for me.

And therefore, I find no greater pleasure than to stroll into beautiful Leconte Hall for academic advisement to have a man with glasses and some snide comments about Sarah Palin (oh history majors... so liberal... so awesome!) to hand me a sheet of paper stating that I am a mere 9 credit hours from graduating from the University of Georgia.

I've almost done it... I've financially and emotionally put myself through college (almost). Yes, there was some major assistance from some awesome aunts, friends, and sisters (on the emotional end, anyways), so they definitely deserve some major props for being so amazing and wonderful!

The point is: I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I cannot wait to really start my life! It's going to be great. ;)

Oh Me, Oh My:

I am feeling very overwhelmed this week. Yeah.

Work has been incredibly hectic.
Last week's illness continues to linger.
Teaching myself French is nothing short of daunting.
There is so much work to be done for this senior thesis.
I feel like I'm neglecting my pups.

In an attempt to make sense of everything, I've resumed making insanely detailed To-Do lists. However, this only 50% helps me to tackle every task one by one and 50% furthers my intense feelings of being overwhelmed due to it's frightening length.

Hopefully things will ease up once I finish my partial draft for my thesis in two weeks...

Finally October:

I am so happy that it's finally October. Since I'm at home today I have the porch door and windows wide open... it feels so wonderful. I love sunny fall days! Chris and I plan to take the pups for a nice long walk once he gets home from class this afternoon. I might even need a light sweater.

From here.

This Is Good News For Me:

Apparently the Tyra Banks Show had an episode titled: "Are you doomed for divorce?" There is an accompanying quiz to determine if you are, in fact, "doomed for divorce" that states that you have a 14% less likely chance of divorcing if you have a "religious affiliation".

I'm just going to say it: That is bullshit.

Percentage that have been divorced at some point in their lives (which is a more accurate picture than those who currently hold the status of "divorced"):
Jewish- 30%
Born-Again Christian- 27%
Other Christian- 24%
Atheist/Agnostic- 21%

If you'd like a more detailed breakdown of the Christian categories, here they are:
Non-denominational- 34%
Baptist- 29%
Mainline Protestant- 25%
Mormon- 24%
Catholic- 21%
Lutheran- 21%

I have found these figures through multiple sources.

Being raised to be Catholic and as a practicing Atheist, I think I'll do okay. I have no problems with other people and what they choose to believe, but I don't appreciate it when people make negative assumptions and act as if their spiritual path is superior to mine through little jabs such as this. I know that religion is a touchy subject, and I do not intend to dwell on this topic, so please don't feel as if I am attacking anyone in particular... unless of course you are the creator of that quiz. Then I totally can't stand you and wish you would stop breathing. Thanks!

(This topic was brought to my attention when I stumbled upon a really old post by Mrs. Bluebell on WeddingBee.)

Realizations About Reality:

It's back to work and school today, but I think that the weekend getaway definitely helped me to gain some of the clarity that I was so desperately in need of. Just getting out of Athens was what I needed.

Being in Athens makes me so anxious... anxious to graduate, anxious to move, anxious to get as far away as possible. Not that I haven't loved living here, I'm just ready to get to that next stage in my life and being in a college town only helps to perpetuate the feeling that I am stuck in time. But I need to be logical and responsible about my plans. And as much as I'm dying to get out... staying might be more of that responsible thing I'm speaking of. Not that I'll stay in Athens... god no... but using my contacts and networking here in the Atlanta area to land a decent job that will give me the coveted experience on my resume would be a wise move in this struggling economy.

Things are definitely still up in the air at this point, but the thought of being in Atlanta for just one or two more years doesn't absolutely kill me on the inside anymore... it makes me feel like I'm being responsible about my future. (Even though "responsible" rarely coincides with "fun". Le sigh.)

In Case You're A History Nerd Like Me:

I'm starting my senior thesis this week and although I haven't developed a clear thesis yet, I have officially found my topic and started the researching leg-work. I'm going to write 20 pages about the juxtaposition of beauty pageants and dance halls in the Caribbean and how they reflect the larger gendered race relations in the region. I'm totally pumped about this topic... it should be fun!

(On a similar note, I'll be leaving tomorrow afternoon to spend the entire weekend up in the North Georgia mountains to assist my best gal pal V in competing in a beauty pageant... Oh the irony.)

This senior thesis class marks Chris and I's fifth history class together, including the one in which we met of course. He is beginning the process of applying to graduate programs at the moment (better late that never, right?) and I get all giddy thinking about sitting in on his lectures as a history professor one day! Knowing me, I'll most likely force him into telling his students that we met in an undergrad history class, and knowing him, he'll hate doing it but will reluctantly oblige just to see me smiling like a fool in the back row. I can't wait!

Best Cities For Singles:

Forbes magazine came out with there annual "Best Cities for Singles" a couple of days ago. For the first time ever Atlanta topped the list at number 1! I mean, I'm not surprised because nobody can resist that Southern charm. ;)

From here.


Forbes takes into account the following criteria:
-Number of singles.
-Nightlife.
-Coolness.
-Culture.
-Job Growth.
-Online Dating.
-Cost of Living Alone.

To me, nightlife and culture should cover that super ambiguous "coolness" factor. Also, if the single life is so great, why should online dating matter? And how exactly is that gauged? No offense to anyone out there in cyberworld, but online dating is not something I see myself partaking in anytime soon, and therefore is of little to no importance to me.

Here is how the list turned out this year:
1. Hotlanta
2. San Francisco
3. Dallas
3. Minneapolis
5. Washington, DC
6. Seattle
7. Boston
8. New York
9. Orlando
10. Phoenix
11. Chicago
12. Denver- Aurora
13. Miami
14. Austin
15. San Antonio
16. Los Angeles
17. Houston
18. Charlotte
19. San Diego
20. St. Louis

Check out the full article for the entire list of cities. (And yes, Dallas and Minneapolis tied. That double-3 is not a typo.)

Five Favorites:

Let's switch things up a bit and stray away from the entertainment industry for this week's installment, shall we? How about my five favorite places in Europe? Oh wait, I've never been to Europe. Damn. Alright, I'll share the five places on the glorious continent that I want to visit most.

From here.
-Oh, Paris. I could even use my new French-speaking skills!

From here.
-Nice, France. Okay, shut up, I really wanna go to France! So sue me.

From here.
-Prague, Czech Republic. The city just seems mysterious to me. I don't know why.

From here.
-Zurich, Switzerland. Skiing the Alps is my dream.

From here.
-Amsterdam, Netherlands. Sex, drugs, and... well... probably more hookers.

Predictable? Yes. So very American of me? Probably. But I figure you've got to hit the big spots before you can even begin to understand how to figure out the infinitely cooler, less tourist-y places.

Previous Installment.

Calling All Readers:

Alright, I just added a fun little poll to the right-hand side of this humble, little blog of mine! I want to see where you think I should move to in July!

Whether you're my best friend since driver's ed class (yes, I mean you, Logan!) or someone I haven't yet had the pleasure of meeting, vote for the city you think I would enjoy the most based on how much or how little you know about me. It's totally anonymous, so if you've come here via my FaceBook page and don't want me to know that you secretly love/loathe reading my entries (I don't mean to be a megalomaniac, I just speak from experience), it's all good. Vote away and I will be none the wiser!

Advice of the Day:

I have a tendency to over-analyze things (shocker, I know)... especially when it comes to relationships. So, the follow lyric from The Format (yes, this is the third time I have referenced this band, so what?) is really helping me to keep things in perspective:


"It's time I forget the past
and just learn to love what I have,
'cause I love waking up to your laugh."


And that is my advice for today... for myself and for everyone. (Cue 'Mr. Roger's Neighborhood' theme music)

(Maybe I should quit sharing my disfunctionalities... I'm starting to look like a looney. Hmm...)

Mental Health:

Okay, so I have this problem with planning ahead... way ahead... and fixating on things that are in the rather distant future. Right now, my obsession is graduating and moving out of Georgia. Who am I kidding, this has been my obsession for a while now.

Some days I feel like these past few months have just flew by and it seems like only yesterday that I still had a year left (when, in actuality, it has been four months!)... and others feel like I am trying to run through molasses. It's exhausting.

I've been attempting to break the cycle and focus more readily on short-term goals that are more easily attainable... and it's definitely helping.

But every now and then I remember that date on my calendar... May 9th... and it's hard to keep from being overwhelmed by the time that spans between now and then. Le sigh.

In The Bedroom:

(I totally snagged this from Smitten because it was just begging to be shared.)

This guy is doing a series of photos of people right before they go to sleep. Couples or singles, he photographs them in their regular night-time attire in front of their bed. Here is the link to the series.

Here is my favorite:



But this one is a close second:


I absolutely love the ones with animals! Emerson and Lily sleep with us every night, so it's great to see people do the same.